ANTOANETA HILLMAN

“I knew that I am going to be an artist before I become an artist. Going to exhibitions , reading biographies of famous artists , liking the smell of turpentine and paint , the conversations about art and the magical atmosphere in the artists studios-all of this slowly got under my skin.

At 19 years old I got my first two paintings at a local art show. This gave me enough confidence to continue my journey in art - landscapes, Figures, Portraits, Still Life all was a must do for me. After a long time mastering my skills, self educating and with very little actual lessons with teachers I started actively participating in shows. There came the not so funny part of rejections,the disappointment and the self doubt.

Many times I was saying- that’s it I am going to quit ,only to continue soon after and pursue my dream with a new strength.I think that being an artist is a very difficult life choice, and this will not work even for a very talented person if he is not strong enough.

The other important aspect is work. I was painting religiously for at least 7 hours every day. My goal was to be abstract artist, but my medium at this time was oil painting, and this didn’t happened before I find about encaustic. This was the medium that gave me the freedom to do abstract paintings. Developing a styleis also something that is not happening immediately. It takes time because we change in our way of thinking and seeing the world.

For me the most important thing is to stay tuned to my own ideas and not to let trends and opinions change my focus. Success is important, but failure is the real teacher. Women in arts are underrepresented - just one of the many challenges on my path. Painting is giving me freedom and a place for my true self to exist. “